Reasons for Lack of Self-Esteem in Some People
Do you feel that somebody is mocking you? Do you think that your stammering problem is a piece of embarrassment for you in public? Do you think people only notice your face without make-up and laugh at you? Do you hide yourself behind the bars because you feel that you are not good as gold? Do you ever give a thought about raising your self-worth? Pointing yourself out for everything and misleading yourself by stabbing yourself with the low confidence dagger is what you will continue to do till the end, if you don’t develop self-esteem. Just answer me if someone scolds you for something that you have not done, then will you stand like a statue and nod or you will respond wisely? Have you come across this phrase when you face such situation, and your friends say “Dude, why didn’t you strike back? Don’t you have a little bit of self-respect left in you?” How do you feel then? So, if you are also one such coward and you are unable to figure out what fuels the advancement of such low esteem in you, here are 5 major reasons that will clarify your doubts:
Photo by Ivan Obolensky, CC0 1.0
1. Inferiority Complex Encircles Them
Low-esteem is found in people who are victims of inferiority complex. They get shriveled up in their small world where they just feel like being captives. Such people form an imaginative world on their own in which they are the king and nobody else is allowed to enter the fences. If you continue to poke yourself for being lower in stature than others, then you will choke your throat with regret for the rest of your life. This discrimination of levels is not in the others’ eyes, but in your own eyes, YOU create this weird disparity that makes you feel UNDERVALUED. So, you need to break the rings of inferiority that have contracted your growth.
2. Loathsome Past Experiences
Have you been bullied by some giant thugs in your school or college? Have you been the victim of child abuse? Has your past left the scars of painful memories on your head? Your past formulates the present you and if your former days have not been as blissful as any other person’s old days, then the shade of those dark days follow you in your future. Such mind-numbing experiences leave deep imprints in the mind that they don’t let you live your life with calmness. Sometimes, such gloomy experiences leave people so stunned that they can’t move forward in their lives as the old memories keep shooting back in their mind and thus, they get stuck at that point. So, such painful nightmares cannot be forgotten, but they can be overlapped by the good dreams.
3. External Pressure
Expectations – one word that punches every individual’s face right on the face. How many times have you gone through such situations where you are the following questions?
- Look at your aunt’s daughter, she is doing so well in exams, why can’t you?
- Why can’t you be like your brother – well – behaved, polite, and intelligent?
- Why can’t you become an engineer like your friend, why are you after Arts field?
And many more such questions.
These questions nag at the back of your mind all the time. When so many voices echo in your ears, you feel underrated and like a loafer. When so much of unnecessary burden is loaded on your head, you are oppressed under the umbrella of expectations and you develop the notion that you are futile. Such pressure can only be expunged from your head when you convert that demotivation into the driving force that pumps up your blood to do the extraordinary.
4. Conscious About Appearance
It has been found that the number of people with low esteem due to looks is considerably high. Physical appearance is one deterring factor that makes people feel petty about themselves. When you are surrounded by people who are better-looking than you are, then you feel that you are not as beautiful as others and thus, you always feel like veiling yourself from the society. The appearance complexity, be it about your face, your body shape, your walking style, etc., you feel weird and always apprehensive of people’s comments on you. This instigates a sense of discomfort in you and you always remain in darkness. Remember that no one has god-gifted facial features, so don’t worry if you have a pointed nose or a swollen lip, be confident and feel good about it.
5. Constant Failures
How does the face of a perpetual loser look? Is it opposite to the face of a clown with a Glasgow smile? How does it feel when people ask you such heart wrenching questions about your failure? Sometimes such bitter words break you into fragments that can never be mended and this self-destruction leads to the development of low esteem. Every time you fail, you build a wall between you and your destination. The more mistakes you make, farther you find yourself from the goal. So, continual process of failure can sow the seed of a losel in you. Just buck up and don’t let that seed be nurtured by your silly failures.
Today, the world is thronged with people of different species and such diverse population ignites competition. Different avenues of life, be it school, college, your own house or relatives’ house, or job, everywhere you will be hit with cut-throat competition where people will expect a lot from you. Every rebuke, every criticism, and every suggestion will come to your ears as a thunderclap because when you have low-esteem, even appraisal sounds like a slang. You seem to believe that everything and everyone is against you because you are not capable of doing anything. Don’t think that your aversion to your past experiences or your belligerent past actions can dampen your present, your progress depends not on what you were, but what you are. So, let yourself live your life with ease. Don’t see yourself at the end of the queue, when you can make space for yourself at the beginning point. Shying away from reality is not the demand of the present hour, so uncover the sword from the sheath and do some action.