Being a likeable person does not mean that you have to try to please people or agree to them at all times. “Fake it till you make it” is the trick that does not work here. Let me just give you the truth- the only way to be a likeable person is to actually be a good person. The only trick you have at your disposition is to be beautiful on the inside. Here are 11 ways to do just that:

Photo by Max Pixel, CC0 1.0

1. Positivity

Your thoughts define you as a person. Having positive thoughts reflect in your actions and you spread the positivity everywhere you go. Looking at the glass as half full allows you to have a positive attitude towards all problems. Automatically people want to spend more time around you and adopt the same attitude as you, as it makes them feel positive and happy.

2. Kindness

A kind gesture towards someone maybe a very small thing for you, but may make someone’s day. The world needs more people who spread joy. Being kind and helpful towards people, especially the ones below you in status or wealth, finds you a place in people’s heart forever. Treat a beggar to a meal, have a conversation with your peon, thank the waiter for water and watch their faces light up in a smile.

3. Be Genuine

Be true to yourself and be true to others. Uphold your personality, opinions, beliefs and values. Do not bend your principles to please others. You will see that people will respect you for it. If you make a promise to someone, keep it. Be honest even if it is hard. This makes you a more trustworthy and reliable person, someone people really cherish.

4. Sensitivity and Respect

Be sensitive towards the needs of others. Try to understand what a situation demands and behave accordingly. If someone is discussing something serious, be attentive and do not be casual. Respect people whether they are old or young, rich or poor.

5. Politeness

Politeness and humility is a real charm. Small gestures like greeting people well, respecting their space or listening to them diligently makes you a pleasant person to be around. Avoid being moody as it makes you harder to approach or predict and makes it harder for people to warm up to you.

6. Don’t Be Judgmental

Understand that everyone has a different story, upbringing, thoughts, needs and preferences. It is not important that they have the same likes and dislikes as you. Respect them for their choices instead of judging them.   

7. Don’t Be Attention Seeking

Always drawing attention to yourself, expecting sympathy or compliments, or creating a huge scene makes people grow tired of you and they begin to feel you are “high maintenance”. Soon they will begin to avoid your company.   

8. Don’t Be Egoistic

It is very important to keep yourself aside and think about others. It is important to care about the feelings of others. Apologize if you are wrong and forgive if you are right. 

9. Space

Being likeable does not mean that you be clingy and follow people everywhere. You do not have to agree to everything in order to get people to like you. Respect people’s space and take the hint if they want to be left alone or do not want to engage in a conversation. Also, understand if you are not welcome to a plan, outing or party, don’t invite yourself.   

Here are some other tips that could be helpful in the short run to get you started and to help you make a good first impression.

10. Personal Hygiene

Keeping yourself clean and presentable at all times makes it pleasant for others to be around you. It makes you look fresh and makes people positively disposed towards you. 

11. Body Language

Being confident reflects in your body language throughout. Smile and maintain eye contact with people.

Fear-something that controls our life more than it should. We fear things that might happen to us – like death or illness. We fear things we have to do- undertake painful treatment, meet new people or even give a public performance. We might think that the fears are different and we may want to categories it but the gospel truth is that fears are all the same. All other fears are based on a basic fear- the fear of rejection, failure or disapproval. And then, we are scared of how to deal with these imaginary devils. This article focuses solely on educating people that fear can be understood and overcome and it requires manipulating yourself or even fighting with yourself!

Photo by Michael Haddad PA, CC0 1.0

1. Building Inner Strength and Self Confidence

Self-worth and self-confidence are major factors in the making and breaking of fears. A person with low self regard will automatically have more fears. He has such a low opinion of himself in his own eyes that he forever wonders what others might think of him or how miserably he will fail in the task given. For such people, the battle is lost even before it begins! They need to stay away from negative people who make them feel inadequate. They should set goals and strive towards boosting their self-confidence.

2. Face Your Fear

It is very important to identify and isolate your fear. If we understand and emasculate our fears it will be easier for us to seek a solution- either embrace the fear or conquer it. We have to educate ourselves about the topic and then try to get to the root cause- is it because of a preconceived notion, someone’s scary story or a terrible childhood experience?

3. Take Control and Responsibility for Your Own Life

There are people who stay at the same unpleasant job for years. There are people who stay in the same relationship even if they know it has no future. But why?  The fear of society. They are scared of being shunned by the society. But why should it be society who decides the course of your life? The only person who should control your life, make decisions for you, and take responsibility for your decisions is you and nobody else. But in this case you need to sit down and think what is best for you. Think about the worst-case scenario and plan accordingly. Make yourself responsible and accountable for your actions. Steer your own life!

4. Cherish and Nurture Friendships

The world is harsh and cruel. It will always try to bring you down and sneer at you to make you feel bad about yourself. It is here that friends and family come in handy. They are here to stand by your side like a rock, not opposite you. The will be a big strength for you in this unforgiving world. Real friends will give you hope in time of adversity and boost you when you fail. Such friendships illuminate even in the darkest of times.

5. Never Be Scared of Failure

Remember, failure is a stepping stone to success. If you are scared of it, you are moving further away from success. Learn from the failure; do not be disheartened or disappointed. Add it your list of experiences and move on. Make sure you do not let the same mistake bog you down again. There will be people who will laugh at you. But do not let that bother you. Such people do not matter in the long run and you know what, they do not go very far themselves!

6. Take Action Against Your Fear

The more you think about it, the more you will be blinded by the fear. Sitting around idle will not help. It is true that fear cannot be demolished immediately but slowly, with perseverance, even this can be overcome. For example, if you have vertigo, try going to the roofs of a few buildings, starting with low ones and moving to multi-storeyed ones. It has been proven that at times the only way of eliminating fear is trying out the job that scares you. Who knows, a few months later you might feel at home on rooftops!

Fear is intangible and solely a creation of our wild imagination. Anything psychological can be fought by building inner strength and facing the issue. Fear is not always bad; it might keep us safe at times. We can let it guide our actions but never control our lives.

Do you start to perspire when you stand on a grand stage? Does your heart begin pounding at a high rate when you find yourself standing on a public platform? Does your tongue freeze when asked to speak in front of the millions of audiences? Does the thought of public speaking scare you to the core? Do you think that the spotlight follows you and slurps all the confidence that you muster before setting onto the stage? If you are fraught with stage fright, then the clock needles are moving fast and you better hurry up as this is the world where everyone looks for people who can present themselves confidently before others. There are so called experts who have opened coaching classes where they impart Personality Development knowledge. Most of them, not all, are just attention seeker who just want a good footfall, so that their business runs in profit. Don’t rely on any such training courses because they intend to loosen your purse strings and not give anything in return. Why to go anywhere else when you can induce exemplary confidence in yourself while sitting at home? From the next time onward, you will not have to become a wallflower when you visit a party or participate in a debate. Here are the tips that can elevate your confidence at an individual level:

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