The situations of your life and the way you deal with them define you the best. Whatever circumstances come your way, anger is a serious threat to them all. It is like the forest fire that holds the potential to destruct your life. Be it an angry boss or an agitated spouse, no one would want to face a person with a short fuse. Nonetheless, calming an angry person is really important to get hold of situations so that you do not go into mental or emotional loss.

Photo by David Shankbone, CC BY-SA 3.0

Anger of a fellow chap may come as an uncalled impulsive behavior that can spoil your work life or relation with the person, and moreover it can tempt you to burn your own tail with your hands. The most usual outcome is that an angry person inflicts you with his temperament which results in an outburst from both sides leading to a huge conflict, sorrow and bad mood. Therefore, to refine your own self and make life easier, it’s recommended that you deal with anger in a peaceful and assertive way.

1. Do Not Retort Back in Anger

You could get emotional in situations when someone is launching personal attacks on you or hurting your sentiments. That can leave you wanting to burst out with anger but try hard not to bring out the angry young man in you. That would only make the situation fiercer. To deal with an agitated person next to you, you need to first keep your cool. Responding to accusations in a calmer tone would definitely win you a few points of respect if not the bout.

2. Try to Understand The Cause of Anger

Though the other person’s anger is directed towards you, do not assume yourself as the cause. Start by reasoning and understanding the other person’s cause of anger. Urge the person to talk with more clarity. Being a good listener always help in dealing with angry people. Try having a one on one discussion with the person concerned. Ask simple questions like whom, where and how so that the person may come out with his dilemma to you. This shall also trigger the thinking process of that person which had obviously collapsed during the strike of anger. Hence, the calming effect can take place in a smooth fashion.

3. Solve The Problem by Apologizing

If you have reached the core of problem then try soothing the person with affectionate statements like “Yes, I understand your point” or “I do sympathize with you”. This builds confidence in the other person so that he can start trusting you. Then you would want to apologize for what has happened and that doesn’t make you small but it certainly is very helpful in the situation. Also, it is better not to start with defending one’s position for that may give way to more conflicting situation. Instead, you might want to look at the apparent problem from the other person’s perspective and find a solution to it. But make sure you always aim for a win-win situation.

4. Defuse Anger Through Attentiveness

Angry people usually find themselves ignored and that becomes reason enough for them to get even more infuriated. Hence, this is a key detail to take care of. Do not try to ignore the angry person’s queries or questions. However futile be the cause of anger, if you want the dispute to be settled or if you really care about the angry person, then you must pay attention to the other person’s needs and demands. Try being there in the situation; call for some water or coffee to calm down the moment. Body language also has an important part to play. Use some non-defensive and non threatening body movements and postures. Keep a calm and soft voice tone while speaking and maintain a concerned yet relaxed temperament. These actions automatically clam the anger of person you’re facing.

5. Accept the Situation and Move on

Anger is the inevitable truth of life and everybody has to deal with anger directed at them. It is suggested that one stays prepared to deal with angry people in a positive manner and not create fuzz over it. We often have to deal with people steaming with anger at work place and usually these cases put some of our reputation at stake. Hence, it is better to accept the challenges put forward by angry people. Be the wiser person: sort the issue, give in to the situation with flexibility and move on with a smile on the face.

An angry person around you, regardless of the cause can make you the target of his anger. Ideally, you have the options of fight or flight. But don’t sweat it, use these helpful tips to deal with an angry person and give the situation a positive turn. The toughest act to master though is to suppress your own wild instincts in heated situations and deal with angry people in a way that yield’s favorable results for all. In today’s world anger lingers on the tip of our noses. If only we’d be able to control our own and other’s anger successfully, this world would be a better place to be in.